


I can't live with(out) you

by orphan_account



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Cohabitation, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, M/M, theres lots of other characters but theyre just background rlly
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-05
Updated: 2018-02-01
Packaged: 2019-02-28 15:57:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,422
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13274889
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Disliking someone is easy when you've only met them a couple of times. It becomes a lot harder when you live together, especially when the person you live with is Taako Taaco.





	1. 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi all, hope youre having a great 2018! this is the first fic ive written in a long time, and it's sort of a 'write it, post it, don't think about the consequences' situation, so im begging you to try and get past any blaring issues ;) hope you enjoy!
> 
> if you are noah or ev or anyone who knows me irl u can fuck right off (love you tho)

“No.” said Kravitz, firmly. “No fucking way.”  
“Please?” said Julia, resting her chin in her hand and pouting at him. “I’ve got two free tickets, but Magnus can’t go. I need to show my support!”  
Kravitz sighed, looking up from where he was busy arranging glass eyes in a drawer. “I know you’re only asking but you think it’s going to be boring, and misery loves company.”  
The short, soft woman in front of him grinned, a sly look coming into her eyes. “Exactly!” she cried. “Misery loves company. So, wouldn’t you rather have my company tonight rather than being miserable at home alone?”  
“I’m not miserable.”  
“Oh, really?” said Julia, eyes wide and feigning innocence. “Because I seem to remember you saying to me the other day that, and I quote, ‘I need to move out of my house, it makes me too miserable’.” She grinned. “Checkmate.”  
“Fine!” said Kravitz. “Fine, whatever, I’ll go to the stupid show with you.”  
“Who knows,” said Julia, “you might even learn something! Like the existence of clothes that aren’t black?” Smiling cheekily and flashing him a wave, Julia made her way out of his workshop.  
Kravitz smiled despite himself. It would be good to get out of the house.  


\------

Kravitz instantly regretted his decision. When Julia had said that a friend was modelling in a fashion show and that she needed to support him, he had assumed it was some student’s community hall runway. Instead, they were standing outside a huge gallery in the centre of town. Fashionable, social elite types mingled around them, voices rising and falling rhythmically. Kravitz felt like he was a different species, dressed in all black and standing with Julia, who did not appear to have made any effort to dress up for the occasion.  
“Julia,” he hissed desperately, “I thought this was going to be, you know. Not proper.”  
Julia smiled at him with the clear air of someone who had known she was misleading him. “Oh no, Kravitz, it’s a really big designer! Look, I promise it’ll be fun. You spend too much time with dead things, it’ll be good for you to get out and about.”  
Although he could feel every nerve in his body telling him to run, as always, Kravitz was too weak to resist the understated power of Julia’s mum voice. No wonder her husband did everything she asked him to.

Once inside, Julia and Kravitz took their seats. They weren’t front row, but close enough that Kravitz had the distinct sense they had struck lucky. As the people around them took their seats, coloured lights started flashing around the room. The hum of conversation that had been present slowly died down, and the show began.  Even Kravitz, inexperienced as he was, had to admit that the clothes were beautiful. There was a lot of androgyny, female models wearing sharp tailored suits and male models wearing skirts and dresses, flowing silhouettes that rippled as they walked. Despite himself, despite being convinced that he would hate it, Kravitz found himself leaning forward, taking pleasure in the craftsmanship and the beautiful models. Time passed quickly, and he felt like he was in some other world.  
Julia leaned over and whispered, breaking him out of his reverie. “This is him!” she said excitedly.  
Kravitz looked to the start of the runway, and felt his heart jolt. The man on the runway was beautiful. He had light golden skin and large eyes, accentuated with makeup. His hair was long, dyed ashy blonde, and tied up in a messy bun. Kravitz barely even noticed the clothes he wore, too busy staring at his face as he walked. “That’s… that’s your friend?”  
Julia nodded excitedly. “Doesn’t he look good?”  
Slowly, Kravitz nodded, then paused, eyes narrowing. “Wait – that guy’s name is _Taako_?”

\------

The problem with love at first sight is that it doesn’t exist. This is what Kravitz discovered, after the show was over and he and Julia had gone to congratulate Taako. What does exist is thinking someone is beautiful, or handsome, or instantly imagining your long happy life together. That is what Kravitz experienced. But love, or even being able to put up with someone’s personality for more than ten minutes, can’t be judged on first sight. So when Taako started talking to them, after he had changed out of his model clothes and into sweatpants and a t-shirt, all Kravitz’s visions of romance went out the window.  
“Julia!” called Taako, waving at the two of them. “Am I wrong, or did cha boy just literally reincarnate Aphrodite on that stage? But you know, male and latino. And me.” The model paused, then caught sight of Kravitz. “Who’s tall, dark and handsome here?”  
It took Kravitz a moment to realise the model was referring to him. He was too busy contemplating his crushed dreams of the beautiful, humble, quiet man he had imagined as Taako walked down the runway. “Uh, Kravitz.” he said, holding out his hand for a shake. “I work with Julia.”  
“Oooh!” said Taako, shaking his hand enthusiastically. Kravitz couldn’t help noticing that his hands were warm and soft. “A museum man! I’m surprised Julia managed to drag you along, I mean-“ Taako stopped mid-sentence, but Kravitz suddenly felt self-conscious of his clothes, second hand and thrown together.  
Kravitz nodded, stony faced, barely listening as Julia and Taako chatted and caught up. Normally, he was good at just ignoring it when he didn’t get along with people. But for some reason this tall, lithe idiot was really pissing him off. It was some combination of the beautiful face and the narcissism, as well as the patronising tone. Also, he looked good even in sweatpants, which was just another thing to piss Kravitz off.

Finally, Julia and Taako’s conversation was over, and Kravitz was able to escape. He was strangely quiet on the walk back to Julia’s car, which did not go unnoticed.  
“Hey,” said Julia, looking up at him, “did you enjoy the show? I thought Taako’s bit was great.”  
Kravitz frowned. “Yeah, it was really good. He looked incredible.”  
“Then why do I feel like you’re pissed off for some reason?”  
Kravitz stopped where he was walking. “I don’t know.” he ventured, avoiding Julia’s earnest gaze. “It’s just- I don’t think I like Taako very much. I’m sorry, I know he’s your friend, but I don’t think I could stand him for more than ten minutes. He did look good though!”  
To his surprise, Julia laughed. “Oh, no worries. He’s not for everyone. When I first met him I didn’t like him either. But, after a while, he grew on me. It happens to everyone who gets to know him.”  
Kravitz was fairly sure it wouldn’t happen to him, but he decided to keep that to himself.

\------

Kravitz sometimes went and wandered around the museum, checking the exhibits. It was important that his models were being well looked after and not degrading, so he would do the rounds and make sure there wasn’t any upkeep he needed to do. Also, it was nice to get a break from work, and to browse the exhibits like a visitor. It was busy today, the middle of school holidays, so kids and their families rushed around all over the place. Kravitz quite liked that feeling, of being alone in a crowd. Blending in, moving with the shifting crowd. He didn’t tend to pay much attention to the individuals around him, but sometimes people would grab his attention. Especially tall, dyed blond models, wearing shorts and a tucked in top, showing off a ridiculous amount of leg. Kravitz frowned. Taako. Despite himself, his curiosity got the better of him. The model hadn’t really seemed the museum going type. He watched for a second, then spotted the boy with him. He was young, about ten, but dressed to the nines in a little three piece suit. Kravitz watched for a little longer then, mystery of Taako’s presence explained, turned back to the exhibit.

Absorbed in seeing whether he could spot mould on the lion’s fur, it took Kravitz too long to hear the clicking of high heels next to him and a familiar voice saying “What about this one, Agnes? Please tell me you have something more interesting to say about this one than its migration patterns or whatever the fuck.”  
Kravitz froze, running through his options in his head. The last thing he wanted to do was get stuck in a conversation with this guy, but he was still Julia’s friend, so it seemed rude to just blank him. Formulating his best ‘have been introduced but not properly met, meeting unexpectedly in public place’ smile, Kravitz turned to face Taako. They made eye contact and Taako smiled back at him. For a second, Kravitz froze. He had forgotten how attractive the model was, and he could feel his gay heart beat a little. Taako had makeup on, natural in a way that made it hard to spot. Faint pink eyeshadow and brown eyeliner made his eyes stand out, and his lips glistened slightly with lip gloss. Luckily, Kravitz remembered who he was looking at. Taako was still smiling at him, but in a very clear ‘I have no idea who this is’ way. Trying to maintain any semblance of dignity, Kravitz turned on his heel and strode off to elsewhere in the museum, face burning. Of course. Of course, professional narcissist Taako Taaco wouldn’t remember him. Something about this guy was really getting on Kravitz’s nerves.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bit of a POV switch!

Taako was cleaning when he got the call from Magnus. He cleaned a lot lately, as his landlord was kicking him out of his apartment in order to sell it. For the last week, every day he had cleaned and told himself that he would leave it that way until it was time to move out. And then, every day, it inevitably became messy again. At least most of his things were packed in his boxes now. Some progress. He kept vacuuming as they talked, tucking his phone under his ear and feeling like some kind of domestic goddess.  
“Magnus! Big boy! What’s up?”  
“Hey, Taako.” said Magnus. As always, sounds of sawing and filing drifted through the phone from behind him, his workshop obviously keeping busy. “I’m really sorry but I’m not going to be able to make it to your show tonight. Got a big order due, and we’re running real behind. Julia still wants to go, she’ll probably bring a friend.”  
“All good, don’t worry about it. After all, you already know how stunning I am, we need to spread that info to even more people!” Taako grinned to himself. “Tell her to bring someone cute.”  
Magnus laughed. “Yeah, don’t worry, she says there’s a nice, attractive taxidermist from her work that she might bring along. Don’t get too excited though, apparently he’s not really into your kind of work.”  
“Ah well.” said Taako. “I can’t say I’m much into his either. Those stuffed things give me the heebie jeebies.”  
“Fuck, same.” muttered Magnus. “I don’t know how Julia stands being around them. Anyway, I have to go now, but good luck for tonight! You’re going to be amazing!”  
“Thanks dude!” said Taako, before Magnus hung up on the other end.

\------

The show had gone well, and Taako was buzzing. It had been his first major event, and he definitely saw it as an avenue to get more work. Plus, absolutely killing it is a great feeling. Even changed into his sweatpants Taako was still riding that high, so he rushed over excitedly when Julia arrived.   
“Julia!” he called, waving her over. “Am I wrong, or did cha boy just literally reincarnate Aphrodite on that stage?” He paused for a second, thinking. “But you know, male and latino. And me.” Then, Taako noticed the guy standing with Julia. Damn. He was tall, stockily built, with dark skin and cheekbones like knives. His hair was in locs, piled on top of his head, and he pulled off the sort of low-maintenance attractiveness that Taako fell for every time. “Who’s tall, dark and handsome here?” Taako asked, grinning.  
The man paused for a second, seeming a bit out of it, then came back to Earth. “Kravitz. I work with Julia.”  
He held out his hand and Taako shook it enthusiastically, marvelling at how cold his hands were. “Ooh!” said Taako. “A museum man! I’m surprised Julia managed to drag you along, I mean-“ He stopped, not wanting to reveal what Magnus had told him. That felt a bit creepy.   
Kravitz didn’t appear interested in carrying on the conversation, so Taako chatted to Julia instead. He was getting some real stony vibes from the man next to her, which was unusual for him. Normally, people liked him well enough. Sure, they might find him a little grating, but they generally didn’t radiate bad will like this guy did. Apparently Kravitz managed to get through the conversation without declaring his hatred, though, so when they said goodbye Taako gave him a friendly smile and wave. Julia had weird friends.

\------

There was a vigorous knocking on Taako’s door, reverberating through his apartment. He had been busy packing away his kitchen supplies into cardboard boxes, but he stood up and shouted “The door’s unlocked!”. There was a pause, then the door flung open and a young boy came walking in, grinning.   
“Sir!” he said, in a chipper high-pitched voice. “Sir, I know exactly what we should do today!”  
Taako looked down at him, hiding his fondness. He would do anything for the kid, but that was something he would admit to no one but himself. At first, he had started doing babysitting to earn a bit of extra cash, but now he felt like a defacto guardian of Angus. “What’s the plan, Agnes?” he asked, slipping past the boy to go and put his shoes on.  
“Well,” said Angus, “there’s a new exhibition at the museum! It’s about forensic sciences, and it’s really interactive, and I thought it sounded super cool. Plus there’s all the other great stuff at the museum too. I reckon we can make a day out of it!”  
Taako thought about it for a second. “Is this Julia’s museum?”  
“Yep!” replied Angus. “She can get us passes!”  
“Aw snap! If it’s free, we’re doing it.” Taako ruffled Angus’ hair as he walked past. “Let me pop my makeup on buddy, then I’ll be with ya.”

The museum was bustling, it being the school holidays. When necessary, Taako whipped out his best runway face, which always worked to make people move out of the way. Angus had happily made his way through the forensics exhibit, solving all of their little puzzles in two seconds flat. Now they were making their way through the rest of the museum, looking at the natural history exhibits. Angus was having a great time educating him about everything they saw, even though he definitely knew Taako was only half listening. After all, there are only so many facts about the sex life of squids that one person can listen to. Plus, all the taxidermied animals tended to freak him out. Something about their fake eyes, and the way they stared at you. Still, the lion was kinda cool. Taako wandered over to it, calling out to Angus. “What about this one, Agnes? Please tell me you have something more interesting to say about this one than its egg spawning or whatever the fuck.”   
It was then that he felt the person standing next to him turn and look at him. Taako looked at them, and immediately felt his mind go blank. He wasn’t good with faces on the best of days, but this one was really giving him the slip. Taako wasn’t even sure he knew him. Still, he smiled back just to play it safe, and was surprised when the guy just glared at him and walked off.   
“Taako?” said Angus from beside him.  
“Shit, sorry Ango, I was just having a weird moment with that dude. Taako’s not used to having hot guys look at him like that.”  
Angus paused. “Like what?” he said nervously, perhaps expecting the answer to not be suitable for his ears.   
“Like they hate me.” replied Taako. “What else were you expecting, little man? Shit, you’re ten! Get your mind out of the gutter!”  
Angus grinned back at him. “That will be hard if I continue keeping your company.”  
Taako laughed and patted the boy on the head. “Damn Agnes, right as usual. I’m like fucking Pennywise, my mind lives in the gutter. What were you saying about lion oestrus?”

\------

**[Weed Daddy]:** are you still moving in today  
**[Wiz Kid]:** you betcha. found me a roomie yet?  
**[Weed Daddy]:** yeah, friend of friend kinda thing. i met with him, he seemed nice. hes moving in day after you  
**[Wiz Kid]:** nice nice  
**[Wiz Kid]:** is he hot tho  
**[Weed Daddy]:** dont have a one night stand with your roommate taako itll be fuckin awkward  
**[Weed Daddy]:** but yeah. he is.

Taako grinned, rousing himself from bed. Everything was packed, but he still had a lot of work to do. Merle’s old apartment was on the other side of town from his current haunt, and he planned on getting as much unpacked today as possible. He’d never really had to live with a roommate before, but he was pretty sure he’d be great at it. After all, who wouldn’t love a roommate who cooked lots, and well? Sure, he sometimes had a few more late night guests than most people liked, but if this guy was attractive like Merle said, he’d probably be getting some too. Getting dressed quickly, he went down the hallway, slipping his shoes on. The moving van was due in ten minutes and he thought he may as well get started moving some boxes down the stairs. After all, he still had to bake some welcome macarons for his new roommate.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You think I overuse the words 'Taako' and 'Kravitz' in my sentences? Y'all haven't seen nothing yet. Also yeah Merle is Taako's dealer and pal trust me on that one


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> who's figured out that this is based on the plot of around 100 basic kdramas? cause youre right

Raven had told him about this apartment, and Kravitz had thought that maybe it was a good idea. Living alone was starting to bring down his mood, and his current apartment was small and dark. It would be good to get a change. So he had gone along to meet with the friend of Raven’s friend at the new apartment, which was exactly what he was after. It was small, the perfect size for two. Still, it managed to pull off the small feeling with a sort of quaintness. The owner had definitely smelled of weed, but he seemed nice enough, and he wouldn’t be the roommate. So, on the morning of his move in Kravitz was excited enough that he woke up two hours early. He played his keyboard for a while, then got jittery and ended up spending an hour deciding on the perfect outfit to wear. After all, first impressions were important and he intended to have a good relationship with his roommate. Even better, he intended to get a friend out of this whole situation.

When he first arrived at the apartment, the first thing he noticed was that his new roommate had put two little flower pots flanking the door. Kravitz grinned. That was a cute touch. Boxes of stuff piled up behind him, he stepped forward and knocked. He could hear a faint commotion inside, then steps coming down the hallway. “Welcome, welcome!” shouted a voice from behind the door. “I made maca-“ The door swung open and Taako stepped out, eyes widening as he made eye contact with Kravitz. “rons.” finished the model lamely. “Oh. Uh. Hey! I guess- this is kinda weird, huh? Kravitz, right?”  
Kravitz was too busy cursing every god that existed to reply for a second. Taako was his roommate. Taako the ridiculously attractive model was more full of himself than a balled up sock. Taako, who seemed to have magically regained the ability to recognise him. And, most importantly, his roommate was the guy who he had been sure he wouldn’t be able to stand for more than ten minutes.   
Finally, Kravitz regained control of his train of thought. “Um. Yeah. I’m Kravitz.”  
Taako, seemingly ignorant of Kravitz’s shock, smiled blithely. “Sick. Like I said, I made macarons. I’ll help you bring your shit in, then we can have some. I promise, I make a baller cookie.”  
Kravitz nodded, forcing a smile on his face. “Sounds great.”  
Taako walked past him to pick up a box. “Also, I’m digging the threads. Really shows off your bod.” Then he went back into the apartment, winking as he passed Kravitz, who sighed. This was going to be hell.

**\-----**

The first few days, while not exactly hell, weren’t great either. Taako hadn’t been wrong, he did make a baller cookie. In fact he seemed to be good at pretty much everything he did, as well as totally immune to Kravitz’s dislike. He cooked delicious meals, which Kravitz declined at every opportunity. He always looked impeccable, even early in the morning, which made Kravitz feel like an absolute slob. Sometimes the landlord would come round and hand Taako a little baggie that Kravitz was pretty sure did not contain lollies. Once, he had accidentally eaten some of Taako’s brownies, which had been an experience. Taako was always wearing some new piece of clothing, and telling Kravitz exactly how he hustled it off some poor innocent person in a game of pool. He brought home guys most nights, and had loud sex which Kravitz could hear crystal clear. Then, in the morning the guys would wander around and ask Kravitz desperate questions like “Do you think he’ll call me?”. Taako never did. Worst of all though, he was very much aware of his own brilliance and made it clear at every opportunity. By the end of the first week, Kravitz was firmly sick of him.

The printer Kravitz used at work was a shared one, and he often would click print and then forget about his documents. So when Raven walked into his office, reading from the pages she held, he knew instantly what had happened.  
“So you just slept with Taako Taaco.” she said loudly. “A guide from his roommate.”  
Kravitz put his head in his hands. Raven was one of his best friends and also sort of his boss, a scientist who worked as the natural history advisor. Even though they were close, he really didn’t want her to be reading that.  
She flicked to the next page and kept reading. “Frequently asked questions. Is Taako interested in anything more? No. Will Taako eat breakfast with me? No. Will Taako call me? No. Does Taako want my number? No, but if you’re really desperate you are welcome to leave it on the sheet at the back of this booklet. No guarantees.” Raven stopped, giggling. “Krav, what the fuck is this?”  
Kravitz could feel himself blushing. “It’s just a joke okay? Don’t judge me. I needed to take control of this whole situation and my stupid fucking roommate.”  
Raven held up the sheaf of pages, waving it in the air. “Why do you need this?”  
“Because I’m sick of dealing with all these sad, in love idiots wandering around my living room when I’m trying to get ready for work!” Kravitz sighed. “Look, the plan is that Taako never sees it. I’m just going to put it out when I wake up in the morning and put it away before I leave. The guy sleeps in until noon anyway. But seriously, I just need to stop answering the same questions every damn time.”  
Raven had been flicking through. “Krav this is gold. You have _restaurant recommendations_. Taxi numbers! ‘This is the pickup address for your Uber’. I mean its been what, two weeks? How many one night stands has this guy had?”  
Kravitz looked at her pleadingly. “You know what’s an easier question? How many nights has he _not_ had a one night stand? Because let me tell you, I can count that on one hand.”  
Raven laughed again, then her gaze became serious. “I mean, if you hate it that much you can come stay with me. I know, it’s great to have your space and everything, but you shouldn’t be living with someone who pisses you off that much.”  
“You know what?” said Kravitz, after thinking it over for a second. “It’s kind of… I dunno. Like it’s a competition now. He’s going to do his shitty Taako things, and I’m going to do everything I can to manage them, and bring him down a peg. Like that.” He said, pointing at the guide.   
“God, you’re going to have fun.” grinned Raven. “In the meantime, can I have another copy of this? It’s comedy gold.”

**\-----**

Kravitz might have not hated Taako that much, after the weeks with him. After all, while he was abrasive and annoying, it was really just arrogance, not anything directly mean. And, his food was good. There was one thing though, just one, that made Kravitz absolutely convinced that Taako Taaco was an irredeemable asshole. Every night, before he inevitably went out onto the town and picked up his guy for the night, he would get a call. Six pm on the dot. He answered it the same way every time. “Babe!” he would say, a huge grin growing on his face. “I miss you so much.” Then he would go to the kitchen, and start cooking. For some reason, he always cooked while on the phone. Sometimes Kravitz would hear snippets of the conversation, and they always made him uncomfortable. Taako would ramble on and on about his life, but he never mentioned the guys he brought home at night, or what he did with them. And then, once his dish was finished he’d say goodbye, always in the same way. “Love you, Lup! Say hi to Barold!” Every time, Kravitz wanted to punch him. He could take the narcissism, and he had brought some earplugs so he didn’t have to listen to Taako’s exploits every night. If he had been braver, or known Taako better he might have said something about it. Instead, he had to sit around and listen as Taako chatted to who he could only assume was his girlfriend, and then watch as he cheated on her that very night. One day, Kravitz told himself, he was going to punch Taako on behalf of this girl.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SOMEONES BEEN LISTENING TO 2 MUCH CARRIE UNDERWOOD!! Also all my descriptions of taakos life are so unrealistic models work really hard and have hectic days please respect all the hard work models put into their jobs

**Author's Note:**

> at the very last second i may have decided i hate it but theres no going back now, huh? i love getting attention so if you wanna leave kudos or a comment that'd be ka pai, or you can hit me up at www.chlckenwlngs.tumblr.com


End file.
